Wednesday, December 10, 2014

The Social Network (300 Channels but Nothing's On)

In many ways, preparing to live and work on a ship is much like moving onto a college campus.  I will be away from home for months at a time.  I eat all my meals for free in a cafeteria (or the mess, as they are called on boats).  I will sleep not far away from the day’s toil.  My world will be a finite space with a manageable cast of characters.  I will roam the same passageways and constantly recognize familiar faces.  Ship-life is life reduced in scale. 

“The ship doesn’t change who you are,” the company trainer told the class, “Whatever you would do at home, you do on the ship.”

We were warned that the social life onboard the cruise vessel is reminiscent of high school days.  Gossip sneaks around, so do STDs.  My training class was advised to be skeptical of coworkers showing us too much attention upfront.  Recent hires are classified as fresh meat.  Clearly, there’s something everybody inevitably wants, and that’s why the ship gives out free condoms. 

During my training course, I’ve noticed a giddy energy emanating between my coworkers.  There are fifty of us divided into two classes.  And those two classes are divided further into subgroups.  We have all analyzed the entire cast by now, and so we surround ourselves with the company we prefer most. 

The facility is very isolated from entertaining distractions, and the weather has been cold enough to trap us inside.  When life is forced inward, it is easy to see how people get restless, especially if they’re incapable of entertaining themselves.  This is when the trouble, or the fun, begins.

When I decide how to entertain myself, I give myself options.  If I am hungry for a cheeseburger, I will research several restaurants before selecting one that will appease my appetite.  In a big city, there may be a Five Guys, a Red Robin, a Burgatory, and a plethora of local joints.  Back home, I usually have more than enough options to ensure my satisfaction.  But when my environment is significantly reduced in size, my options become more limited.  When my area shrinks, my tastes and/or expectations could change accordingly.

In my training class, there are roughly twenty-five women, many of whom I find pretty, but I haven’t found a woman of irresistible beauty.  The women, too, may feel this way about the men.  As we spend more time together in isolation with very little to do, there is no question of what will happen.  I have very few options.  I could choose not to act.  Or I could bump up those pretty girls to the status of irresistible beauty.

“When I first arrived, I didn’t find any of the women here extremely attractive,” I said to a male friend at the facility, “But now that a few days have gone by, I’m starting to notice people I didn’t really pay much attention to before.”

What makes a person attractive is a relative quality.  Beauty is measured by comparison.  Early in life we sift through what we like and what we don’t like.  I only know what I’ve been exposed to.  Some people think Pittsburgh is a big city because they’ve never seen New York.  In a similar way, one may believe one person is attractive because they haven’t seen what else is out there. 

When I am at home, my market seems unlimited, and the chances of finding an ideal partner or an ideal friend are promising because my environment houses an ample population.  But what do humans do when their choices are restricted?  I believe that we take the best of what’s around and make it work.  If the people in my training class were all the people I knew in the world, I would not refrain from romance because the women didn’t meet my standards.  Instead, I would lower my standards and rewrite my definition of beauty. 

Living with small, isolated populations helps me realize that this scenario is a microcosm of everyday life.  My hometown may be much larger and much more populated than a training facility or a cruise ship.  However even in a big city, I will only encounter a mere fraction of the human race, so I am still limited by the options presented to me.  We continue to keep what we like and disregard what we dislike, but these preferences are not entirely of our design.  The environment always plays a part in shaping us.  We choose to accept or reject what it has to offer.  When the environment doesn’t have much on the menu, we don’t get picky.    

No comments:

Post a Comment